The Return
by sweeny81
Summary: Beth and Jack return to Cardale, decades after they left. Where have they been? What happened to their friendships formed in the village 25 years previously? An attempt to bring an old beloved show back to life in a small, short way.
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: I have no idea where this came from. It might have been a story that I had seen on the 'Lewis' page - a crossover with 'Silent Witness' featuring Dr Sam Ryan. It made me think of the last time that Kevin Whately and Amanda Burton appeared on screen together was many, many years ago, on a somewhat forgotten programme called 'Peak Practice'. I had loved the show and had adored those characters. It's rarely repeated these days and sadly never available to download or stream. But 'Lewis' fans may know that it was created and written by the same writer who wrote the fabulous 'Rambling Boys' episode, Lucy Gannon. She's always been one of my favourite television writers. Anyway, one afternoon - this story came out. It's got a couple of chapters to go and I have no idea if anyone remembers it but thought it would be fun to put it up in case there are any other 'Peak Practice' fans left out there.

'The Return'

Rated M for mature themes

Author Disclaimer: Most characters are not mine. I own Matty.

Chapter 1

She looked up at the building feeling nostalgic and devastated all at the same time. It was a home now. Someone else's home, a family's by the look of the toys in the garden. It hadn't been a home then of course. Although when she thought about it perhaps it had been in a way. Not her actual home, she didn't ever actually sleep there, although there were times when she might as well have. But it was in so many ways the focus of her entire life for a very long time.

It was a refuge. First from a disastrous relationship, which had left her alone and ashamed. And then a haven from the overwhelming grief after her father died. She poured her very being into it trying to preserve his legacy. While the world around her moved on, she did everything she could to keep this little part of the world exactly the same as if her father had never left. Often at the expense of her own personal life. She smirked. Well, at least until a cocky Geordie walked in the door and turned her nicely ordered, career focused life upside down.

So many memories. Mainly happy ones. It had helped her get over Michael. And it had helped her from falling in to the dark abyss of grief where she teetered at the edges for so long. She had done a lot of growing up in a short period of time.

She had made some her of closest friends during her time there. Had lost her parents. Had found her one true love. Lost her surrogate mother as well as a child. Had found her future.

Part of her felt guilt that she couldn't hold on to her father's dream, but the more rational side knew that it had helped her move on to set her own dreams. Follow her own path. She reflected that while there was some sadness there was more gratitude than anything else. If it hadn't been for this building, she certainly wouldn't be where she was now.

She turned to look out over the village and breathed deeply. It felt strange to be back. She hadn't set foot in the village for 22 years. Not even when they had returned to the UK over 15 years ago. They had been too focused on the trauma in their lives at that time to give the village any thought. Focused on purely getting what they needed from the finest doctors in London.

Once that traumatic period in their life was over they had considered visiting but most people they had known had also moved on. Or had made it clear they were not wanted. So they had moved to another rural town on the west coast of Wales. Close enough to get to London when they needed to and far enough away to pretend they didn't spend every waking day hoping they would never need to.

It was, in the end, a death that had brought them back to Cardale. One that she never realised would affect her in the way that it had. Alice had been the very essence of the village, a permanent fixture. And despite her illnesses and trials and tribulations, at the grand old age of 101, it was as if she was indestructible.

Chloe had been the one to tell her. They kept in touch regularly, phone calls over a bottle of wine, sharing photos of the kids and updates on their lives. They met up several times each year, visiting each other's homes. Chloe and James had even visited them in South Africa during their time there. It was a friendship that had surprised her. Although she had always cared for them greatly, had grown up with them in fact, it was Jack who had been closer to them in the latter days in Cardale. She and Chloe, on paper, never had much in common. Then she had become a mother and she found in Chloe a kindred spirit. Who at her worst moments had helped her piece herself back together. She held on to the friendship with a ferocity that surprised her and no doubt surprised Chloe. But it was a friendship and a love that was reciprocated and she supposed that she too had been there for Chloe in her darkest moments.

She had been desperate to come. She couldn't not. Despite the fact that she suspected that she was going to be made to feel very unwelcome by someone she once considered her best friend. Someone she thought would be in her life forever. Her loyal partner. Someone else who had helped her and who she had helped. She wasn't quite sure why she deserved the level of bitterness he had shown her. Or the abandonment.

She knew that he had been aware of what had brought them back from South Africa but he had never got in touch. He'd asked Chloe once, in an email, how it had gone. But Chloe rarely heard from him either. The odd Christmas card, which showed he had travelled to the states only to return to Derbyshire.

She had sent him a letter when she learned about the death of his daughter. She never got a reply. Her husband tried to pretend that he wasn't devastated by the way they had been treated. Tried not to show his hurt. It didn't feel deserved. All they had done was try to live their lives in the best way they knew how. And go where they felt they were needed most.

She doubted that his feelings were rational, and perhaps if she had pushed it, hadn't been thousands of miles away, she would have burst through his door as she had done on previous occasions and forced him to speak to her. But she was thousands of miles away, and a new mother, trying to be a doctor and a wife. And as he lost a child, she was faced with losing hers.

It was Chloe that had told her about the baby's condition when she was born. And it was Alice that had told her about the sad death and the seeming end of his second marriage. She had reached out, only to have the door slammed in her face.

She would have to face him tomorrow though. Knew he would be as devastated as she. If not more so. It was perhaps only her and Alice who had known how to pierce through that arrogant pompous act he always adopted when he was at his worst.

She wiped away a tear, surprised at it. She hadn't seen Alice for ten years. Alice had visited Chloe and James at their B&B in North Wales when she and her husband were there. It had been a fantastic time, reminiscing about the village, their childhoods, their loved ones, their friends. But the spectre of sadness wasn't far away. Alice had told them more about the traumatic event that she doubted the village would ever recover from. The tyrannical ex-soldier who had torn through the village with a callousness and evil that she thought could never exist in her home town.

She had known about the events of course. Chloe telling her to turn the tv on one day, calling for her husband as they watched the events unfold with growing horror and shock. She had called Alice who was too upset to say much. She had even tried Will's first wife, never her favourite person, but she had known even less than her at the time although was just as upset. There had been a rift between Will and his eldest children and despite how little she thought of Sarah it surprised to her to learn how much it obviously distressed her and she was trying to convince the boys to rush to their father.

She and her husband discussed travelling up there when she received another call from Sarah, updating her on Will's condition. Sarah had told Will about their conversation and it was made clear that their concern wasn't wanted. Maybe they should have gone anyway but neither of them could face causing him more distress. So they got on with their lives, checking in with Alice regularly but never contacting Will or Sarah again. They had thought they would never return to Cardale.

Until the phone call from Chloe. Until today.

She had left her husband at the Manor Hotel who was reminiscing with Rita who had bizarrely been called in from retirement to help manage the Manor until new tenants could be found. Chloe and James would be arriving soon. She wondered how they would feel being residents at their old home…

"Thought I might find you here."

She was jolted out of her reverie as her husband's arms wrapped around her stomach and felt his warm breath against her neck as he pulled her towards him. All this time. Nearly 25 years together, give or take a few months when they had fallen out. And he still made her shiver in anticipatory delight.

She supposed their relationship had somewhat settled from the passionate affair it had started out as. Parenthood and the passage of time does that. Although since their son had gone away to University it had reignited them in a way that had surprised her. And delighted her. They had never stopped being passionate, or stopped the fiery nature of their relationship that was always going to be present with two such headstrong people, but with it being just the two of them they had more time for each other. Her husband's semi-retirement had also helped. He was still trying to get her to do the same but she wasn't quite ready. Not yet.

"You okay pet?"

"Just reminiscing."

He squeezed her tighter and sighed, "It's weird. Almost as if the place hasn't changed, and yet so much has."

She nodded in agreement, "I didn't realise how much I missed it."

"Me either."

She turned in his arms, surprised, "Really?"

He nodded as his settled his arms around her, "I have a lot to thank this place for. I did a lot of growing up here in a short amount of time."

She laughed, despite their differences there was so much about them that was similar, "I was just thinking the same thing."

"Do you ever wonder what it would have been like if we stayed?" He nodded to the building behind him and she looked at it over his shoulder contemplating.

"I like to think we wouldn't be any different. I wonder if it would have been different for others though."

"Any regrets?"

She shook her head, "I've loved our life. I loved South Africa. If I have any regrets, it's not about the choices we made for ourselves…"

"We can't take responsibility for other people Beth."

"I know. But being here now, perhaps things would have worked out differently for Will if we had stayed."

Her husband sighed, "Maybe. Maybe not."

He looked down at her and smiled, "Come on. Enough of this. We are going to have plenty of time to be morose tomorrow. James text me, they were 30 minutes away 10 minutes ago and I promised to have a pint ready for him."

"Some things never change."

He grinned, "You wouldn't want me to."

"I really wouldn't."

He moved away and grabbed her hand to lead her down the steep drive back in to the village. She stopped and pulled at his hand to make him face her, him being just that little bit down the drive to make their heights a bit more equal.

"Just a few more minutes Jack."

He smiled at her and followed her gaze across the hill. A thousand memories assaulting them both. She felt Jack lightly tug at her and she moved towards him to accept his kiss. His hands reached up to cradle her face as he caressed her lips.

She pulled back slightly and smiled at him, "You aren't going to be up drinking with James *all* night are you?"

He smirked back at her in a way that made her grin in return, "Not bloody likely Dr Glover. Not when I've got you in my bed."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

True to his word, Jack hadn't stayed up with James all night. It had been fun in the Manor with Chloe and James. There were a few other familiar faces and it had been heartwarming to know that she and Jack had not been forgotten by many of the villagers. Patricia, Alice's daughter had turned up and given Beth a hug. Beth knew that returning to the village had been difficult for her and her daughter but was pleased to see them both looking so well.

When they had finally retired to bed, Jack was amused to see that they were in the room that they had found Trevor and his girlfriend in all those years ago. The former with a broken leg, the latter tied to the bed. Helpless with laughter at the memory they had stumbled in to bed and drunkenly seduced each other, but without the need for role-play that the former inhabitants had been so intent on 25 years previously.

Despite the wine the night before, Beth had found herself bright eyed the following morning and had awoken her somewhat hungover husband for a morning round of passion in order to rid him of his hangover. It nearly always worked and it had the desired effect this time as well. The two of them cheerfully making their way to a somewhat worse for wear James and a laughing Chloe for breakfast before heading to church.

Although it was a somber occasion, Beth couldn't help but feel happy and thankful, not only for her husband but for their friends as well. It felt right to all be back in Cardale together, almost as if they had never been away. There had been a brief moment the night before when Beth had almost sworn she had seen the back of Isabel's head and for half a second nearly cried out to greet her long departed friend, before realisation had set in. She had shaken her head, the wine no doubt, but instead of upsetting her it almost felt right. The memory of Isabel and the number of nights in the Manor with Chloe and James were too many to count. She would always be with them in that respect.

The slight unspoken disappointment was the lack of Will. Jack had admitted to her in the darkness of last night as they lay in each others arms, satiated and happy, that he had thought that Will might have turned up. He would have known they were there - Cardale was still too small for him not to have known and in any case Rita had made sure he was aware in her own straightforward way.

"He's a pillock. Always has been. I told him mind, gave him what for. He didn't listen. You men are all the same. Worse than kids."

Beth had been amused at the image of Rita telling Will off, but saddened at the gulf that was obviously still there between them and their old friend. She wasn't sure what reaction she and Jack were going to get from him. She wasn't sure what her reaction would be either. When she got hurt, she got angry. Jack had warned her as she was dressing that morning not to lose her temper with him, "It won't help love. And in any case it's not fair on Patricia. Whatever Will's problem with us, that's for another time. Not today."

She had agreed, although somehow she suspected they both knew that his warnings were in vain. However she couldn't think about that as she and Jack stepped out in to the wintery Cardale air with Chloe, James and Rita. They had taken two steps before they had heard a soft Liverpool voice calling their names only be reunited with Andrew and his partner Kate. There had been hugs and handshakes and Beth was relieved to see no bitterness. Andrew had been there when Jack and Beth had left and had been there when they decided not to come back. It made her feel better to know that whatever the issue with Will it hadn't been enough to put Andrew against them.

They walked along the main road chatting about their families and what life had thrown at them in the last twenty-odd years. There was some slight awkwardness when Andrew had spotted Erica - Chloe whispering that she had left Andrew at the altar - but as was the measure of the man he greeted her with equanimity as they introduced their respective partners to each other. The others carried on and Jack reminded Beth that they had taken this route on their way to get married.

"The whole village was our entourage that day," said Jack smiling.

"I remember the party afterwards," said James rubbing his hands with glee. Chloe nudged him

"Aye I remember too - someone was too drunk to make it up the stairs. I'll never know how you managed to sleep under the pool table."

They all laughed and as they reached the church gates Beth was nearly overcome at the sight of Kim, Ellie and Laura. It was an emotional reunion of hugs and tears and a promise to catch up properly at the wake.

As Beth turned to reach for Jack she spotted a tall blonde man standing just beyond the church gates that they had just walked through. It was Will. He was staring down the road and Beth followed his eyes to the black limousine that was making its way towards him. The recently reunited friends all followed its progress, the lightness at their meeting ebbing away to be replaced by a sombre cloud that seemed to swallow them up. One by one they all made their way in to the church.

"Come on pet," Jack whispered to her, "Let's get a seat."

She turned reluctantly away, the image of Will's haunted face still in her minds eye. She reached for Jack's hand and they made their way down the aisle to sit down next to their friends.

A little while later, the music began and the congregation stood as the vicar led the procession down the aisle. Will, a pall bearer, was at the front of the coffin, staring ahead but Beth suspected he wasn't really seeing. As he helped to lay the coffin gently down another dark haired man, also a pall bearer, had reached an arm round him and led him gently away to the front pew next to Patricia. Beth wondered if this was Tom, his partner in the practice, the one who had shared that terrible day with him.

Beth found it hard to keep her emotions in check. Seeing Will after such a long time and seeing his broken face had brought so many emotions to the fore. And as the vicar and Patricia and her daughter had spoken her heart broke again for Alice. The one with the sharp tongue, or was that how Alice had described her, a sharp tongue, but a good heart. It was one of the nicest things that a patient had ever said to her.

She thought that Will would speak and was surprised when it was Tom that had risen to say a few words. And then the vicar had nodded at Beth and with a supportive smile from Jack she had risen to walk to the pulpit. Studiously avoiding looking at the space where Will was siting.

She had been shocked the night before when Patricia had approached her and asked her to do a reading. It was the one she had given at Isabel's funeral. Her mother, Patricia had explained, had so loved it and thought it perfect. Alice had, in her own indomitable way, made very clear what her expectations for her funeral were and had asked that if Beth was to come, would she give the reading that had meant so much to her. Beth had been honoured and a little overcome that Alice had still thought so highly of her. She had been so apprehensive about coming back, fearing that Will's antagonism had spread to poison the rest of the village. She had realised last night that she had expected a cold welcome on her return. It had been a relief and somewhat emotional to know that of those that did remember her, they did so fondly.

She stepped up at the pulpit and automatically looked for Jack, he centred her like no one else ever could. But as she began she was surprised to feel the well of emotion stir in her. There were times when the grief for Isobel was so intense it was like she had passed yesterday and not over twenty years ago. She took a deep breath and saw Jack's brows furrow. Her eyes flicked to Patricia automatically and she willed herself to be strong for her sake. She knew what it had been like to lose a mother, twice over, and was desperate to carry out this wish of Alice's, the woman that she had felt so much for, who had been a big part of her life in Cardale.

She forced out the next line, and then the next, and the next, continuing until she had finished, with no small amount of relief. As she stepped down from the pulpit Patricia had risen to give her a hug and over her shoulder Beth caught Will's eye, red from tears, she held his gaze, his face blank until he broke away and stared at the floor. She squeezed Patricia and then moved away to return to her seat, Jack's arm going around her shoulder and she felt Chloe's hand reach across him to grab hers.

She didn't know what to make of Will's reaction to her. Had he even really seen her, or perhaps the fog of grief, that Beth knew all too well, had hid her from him.

The ceremony finished and as the congregation filed back out the church Beth watched as Will this time studiously kept his gaze in front, not looking at the rows of familiar faces. Beth and Jack followed and it was a quieter, more sombre group that made their way to the graveyard for the burial.

As they stood around the grave, Beth watched as a dark haired woman held Will's hand. Kate she supposed. A young man stood on Kate's right. Too young to be Tony or Julian, Beth suspected that this was Charlie, Will's stepson. Her gaze moved along to the man she now knew was Tom, whose own gaze was moving along the path until it settled with some relief on a woman in a wheelchair. This must be Alex, Beth knew that she had survived the fall but had sadly been paralysed. A young man in his late teens was holding on to the back of her chair. Joe, Chloe had said. Tom's son and Alex's stepson. The family dynamics were almost too much for Beth to keep up with. Seeing that she was ok Tom returned his gaze to the service and his arm to Will's shoulder. Beth, instead of feeling jealously at the obvious friendship between the two was relieved that Will seemed to have a good network of support around him.

Finally, the service was over and Beth took a huge breath, overcome for a moment. Alice was one of her last links to Cardale. Apart from Will, who didn't look like he was going to attempt reconciliation any time soon, most of her friends from the village no longer lived there. Laura, Ellie and Kim all lived away. Andrew was only there for the day and Rita was planning on retiring to the coast as soon as new tenants for the Manor could be found.

She felt a wave of grief wash over her as her eyes blurred with tears. She turned automatically knowing Jack would be there and turned her face into his shoulder as she cried. She felt rather than saw Chloe's hand rubbing her back and heard her sniffles to know she too was suffering. It was all too much at once. Too much emotion. The joy of seeing her friends, the wonderful memories of her and Jack's courtship and early days of marriage, the haunting spectre of Will and the demons that lay between them and the loss of those who had all been a part of her life. Her parents, Isabel and now dear, dear Alice.

After a few moments she composed herself and moved away, Jack wordlessly checking she was ok. She turned to hug Chloe and then Ellie, Laura and Kim were there too, sharing tissues and memories. She looked back over to where Will had been standing to see that he had moved away and was heading towards the pub. It was going to be harder to avoid each other there but Beth felt bolstered by her friends and her positive welcome back to the village. She wouldn't make a scene for Patricia's sake, but she wasn't going to hide either.

"Ken!" Beth reached out to grab the elderly man in a fierce hug, the man who had been Isabel's on/off dating partner for many years before her death. He still looked incredible at 80 years old. Still suave and sophisticated, he had visited Jack and Beth regularly over the years.

"I had no idea you were coming from Canada," Beth exclaimed, "Why didn't you tell us? We would have gotten you from the airport."

"It was a last minute decision. After your call last week, I knew I had to be here. I adored Alice."

"I'm not sure she adored you quite so much," Jack laughed.

"We became quite close I'll have you know. After old Douglas Hart died, and after Isabel, we often met for tea."

"I think she liked Isabel more than she let on," said Chloe.

"Didn't she say that she was all fur and no knickers?" James blustered with a laugh and everyone joined in.

"True," said Ken smiling "But she appreciated her independence and strength."

"I'll never forget her smug face at us when Isabel without fear or favour stabbed those rats in Alice's yard that Will and I were too squeamish to touch. Had to deliver all her bloody parish leaflets in payment." James said with obvious pain at the memory.

"Do you remember that Will?" James called over and Beth was surprised to see that he was standing close to the group.

Will smiled in response, "How could I ever forget?" Will drawled in the way that only Will could, "You moaned in my ear for the next 3 hours."

"I think you were moaning just as much!" James retorted and everyone laughed. Beth only smiled and took a drink, not believing he wasn't even going to acknowledge her and Jack. Her husband caught her eye with a silent reminder. Not here.

"The matriarch's of the village," Will said, "Will never be the same without them."

"I propose a toast," said Ken, "To Alice and her old foe Isabel DeGines, I for one hope that they are up there now arguing about fur coats."

"And no knickers!" everyone chorused.

As the laughter ebbed away, silence descended on the group as they took a swig of their drinks and Beth could stand it no longer. She moved away from the group, murmuring about visiting the ladies room. She made her way to the toilets and braced herself against the sink. How dare he?! She fumed silently. Not even an acknowledgement. Partners for years, friends for years. He had been the best man at their wedding for God's sake and not even a nod in her or Jack's direction. She tried to compose herself, Jack was right. It wasn't the time or the place but the bloody nerve of that….

Her internal monologue was halted by the sound of one the toilet doors unlocking and out stepped Kate Preston. She caught Beth's eye in the mirror, and Beth saw the moment of recognition on her face. Beth smiled and turned around. After all she had no argument with Will's wife.

"Dr Glover?" Kate greeted and held out her hand which Beth took with relief.

"Beth, please," she responded.

"Kate. It's nice to finally meet you," Kate said and Beth found it hard to respond.

"Andrew, Chloe and James always spoke really highly of you and your husband," Kate said with no small measure of awkwardness.

"And they of you. It's nice to meet you too," Beth said graciously, while wondering what Kate's husband had said about them. Again it could not have been too bad or Kate wouldn't have bothered acknowledging her.

"Alice had told me about your son. How's he doing?" Kate asked with feeling.

"He's doing great, we are over 15 years on and all is well. Thank you for asking," Beth smiled with genuine gratitude. "I was so sorry to hear about your daughter."

"Thank you," Kate whispered, "I read your letter, I know you might not believe it but I think it brought Will some comfort to hear from you."

Beth could only nod, her throat tight, not wanting to voice the obvious question. But Kate must have caught the look on her face.

"I don't know why he never returned your message," Kate was obviously a mind reader. "He was very upset that you never came back to the Beeches. I think it was hard in that first year or two without you both. He lost you and Jack and then his sons. He was a little bit lost I think when I met him."

"We never meant to cause him any pain."

"I know. Everyone knows. And we are all so bemused at his behaviour. If it helps I don't think he is angry anymore. If anything he is a little ashamed."

"Ashamed?" Beth asked disbelieving.

"He's only recently found out just what your son had gone through."

"But Chloe had told him-"

"Yes she told him part of it but I don't think it really sunk in. It was the same time as Emily and…"

"I understand," Beth said simply and Kate seemed to sag in relief. She and Jack were obviously not the only ones anxious about today.

"I hope-" Kate began only to be interrupted by a woman coming in to the toilets, Beth recognised her as a former patient who was very happy to see her. She looked at Kate apologetically who whispered that she would see her later and made her way out the door. Beth tried to concentrate on the villager that had commandeered her attention but her mind was on the memory of Will's wife almost apologising for his behaviour.

A few moments later, Beth left the toilets to find her husband waiting with a drink in hand, "I thought you had disappeared down the plug hole."

"I got talking to an old patient."

"I saw Will's wife come out, did she speak to you?"

Beth nodded and briefly apprised him of the conversation, "Did he say anything to you when I left?" Beth asked.

Jack shook his head, "No he did look a little embarrassed and then excused himself to get some air. I nearly followed him and then had to remind myself of what I'd been telling you all day."

Beth shook her head at him fondly, "From my conversation with Kate, I don't think a conversation would be as antagonistic as we though."

Jack looked at her with some surprise, "I find that hard to believe after seeing your face when you stormed to the toilets."

Beth rolled her eyes, "I did not storm." Jack wisely kept quiet and gave her a level look.

"Okay, I was angry but after speaking to Kate…I don't know. I was wondering, maybe Alice asking me to speak today was a message."

"An attempt at reconciliation from the grave?"

"I know I sound ridiculous."

Jack reached out to touch her cheek, "No. In fact it sounds just like something Alice would do," he said gently.

Beth looked out over the crowd of people, "Is he still outside?"

Jack nodded as he took a swig of his pint, "Yep, I checked a moment ago and he's sitting in the garden with his partner."

"I think we should go and talk to him. Calmly," Beth quickly added.

Jack shook his head, "If anyone does maybe it should be one of us on own. You know how he always thought we were ganging up on him."

"Right. You go then."

"Me?! Why me!?"

"You were always better at dealing with him when he was in one of his funks."

"Funks?"

"It's a word."

"Not a very good one, just where did you pick it up anyway?"

"Does it matter? Go outside!"

"No."

"No?!"

"I'm just not sur-"

"Aunty Beth!" A voice called and whatever Jack was about to say was interrupted by a handsome young man, in his late twenties, early thirties making his way over to them. Beth saw Jack's amused face as she was swept up in a huge hug by the young man and what must have been her shocked face.

The young man pulled back and Beth finally got a good look at him.

"Julian?!"

"Yes it's me!" he said with a laugh and turned to greet Jack with a handshake and a hug.

"It's so good to see you both," he said with feeling as they exchanged pleasantries about his mother, 'on husband number 3' and his brother 'on rehab stint number 5, but I think it will stick this time'.

"Did Matty tell you I met him?" Julian asked as the conversation moved on.

Beth and Jack looked at him in surprise and Julian laughed over his pint. "I'll take that as a no. I work at Kings at the Liver unit. As I looked down an outpatients list one day, I was shocked to see a Matthew William Kerruish. There's not many Kerruish's so I asked whether I could take his appointment and low and behold if it wasn't your son!"

"He never mentioned it," said Beth with some wonder.

"It was only last week," Julian said with a shrug.

"That makes sense, he's only communicated by text as we told him we were coming here for Alice's funeral."

"He's a great lad. Was surprised to hear that he had decided to go down the computer science route and not medicine given he had two GPs for parents. But he told me he was sick of hospitals. Which I can understand after all he had gone through."

"Medicine was too much of a reminder of some scary times. But it is great to hear you are doing so well Julian. Your parents must be proud," Jack said.

Julian blushed, "I think they are just pleased that one son didn't turn out to be a drug addict moron."

Jack rubbed his shoulder with affection, "I think they are proud that you are doing a job you love, son and are obviously happy. That's all we parents really want."

Julian nodded, "Is Matty here? I had hoped to introduce him to my girlfriend."

"He had exams. He might join us if we decide to stay for a few days."

"Well let me know if he does. I'm going to stick around for a week or so, Dad's been a bit of a wreck after Alice."

"It's good that he's got you," Beth said with some sympathy. As angry as she was with Will, she knew he would take Alice's death hard.

"And Charlie, he has thankfully got some relatives he need not blush over. Anyway I better make my way back to Sooz before she kills me for leaving her with Rita at the bar."

"It's great to see you Julian," Jack said as he hugged him, and Beth followed with a similar endearment.

As he bounded away Jack and Beth stared at each other, "That must have been what Kate meant - about Will only just finding out about Matty."

"Makes sense," Jack responded.

"So…" Beth started and Jack held up his hands.

"No. I still don't think today is a good idea."

"I think it's a good idea as any. He can't be too much of an arse at a funeral."

"Funerals, drink and family feuds are never a good mix."

"Will isn't family," Beth responded tartly.

"Yes he is, Beth," Jack said gently, "That's why it hurt us so much."

Beth looked at her husband. He had been just as hurt by Will's actions as she had. Perhaps more so. Jack had worked hard to gain Will's friendship so his abandonment hurt all the more deeper. Beth and Will's friendship had come easily, working together for Beth's dad they found they had a lot in common despite their very different backgrounds. It was friendship borne out of time. Jack's friendship with him and been fought and scrapped for, firstly out of necessity and then out of a mutual respect.

Beth sighed and moved towards her husband to hug him, which he returned.

"You're right. Let's go and join our friends. We can deal with Will tomorrow."

"Or perhaps you should deal with Will now," A familiar voice drawled and Beth turned in shock to see Will behind them. He gestured towards the back door. "Shall we?"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Beth and Jack made their way out in to the garden, relieved that it appeared to be empty. The Derbyshire winter deterring even the most hardy smoker.

However the conversation was going to go, it was probably going to be quick given the weather, which Beth felt relieved at. The conversation that she had imagined so many times was finally going to happen and she felt strangely nervous. Any residual anger melting away.

Will sat down at a small tabled and gestured to the seats on the other side, "Please."

Beth stole a quick glance at her husband, his face blank and she knew he was warring with wanting to speak with Will and hurt at how they had been treated. She suspected that when it came to it, he had probably felt as angry as she had and didn't know how to deal with that now he was front of them.

They sat down and silence reigned for a few moments.

Will coughed slightly, obviously embarrassed, "I wanted to apologise. I never knew just how serious Matty's illness had been."

"He had a liver transplant Will. When he was five. You're a doctor. How did you not think that was serious?!" Beth argued and she felt Jack's hand on her leg. She saw Will catch the movement and that he tried to hide an eye roll at it and her tone.

"I had just lost my daughter Beth. I knew from Chloe that Matty had a transplant. I didn't know that it was a liver transplant. I just asked how it went, she said it was fine and that he was recovering. I'm sorry if my grief meant I wasn't able to show you as much consideration as you expected."

"Consideration?!"

"Beth..." Jack said in warning.

"You were meant to be our friend. I contacted you as soon as I heard about Emily. A letter that I know you received and a letter you ignored. I was devastated for you. And if I hadn't been worried about losing my own child I would have rushed to your door."

"Rushed to my door. You wouldn't have known where my door was."

"And whose fault was that?!"

"Beth," Jack said, louder this time.

"Oh don't bother Jack. We all know how much she loves to play at being the most hard done by."

"Oh I think if anyone knows how to play the victim-"

"ENOUGH!" Jack bellowed causing Beth to look at him at alarm. A quick look at Will showed a similar look of surprise.

"This is why I though this was not the time nor the place for this conversation."

"I see you are still playing the role of superman, coming to Beth's defence."

Beth saw Jack close his eyes and take a deep breath.

"She's my wife, Will. Please. And she's been devastated at the loss of your friendship. As have I. We don't know what we did to deserve it. None of our friends do. Your wife seems to be at a loss. And your son doesn't seem to hold anything against us either."

He went to stand and reached for Beth's hand, "I won't sit here and allow my wife to be spoken to in that way. And neither will I allow her to lose her temper at Alice's funeral. Whatever wrong we committed Will, I apologise for."

Beth looked up at her husband, proud of him and with so much love it made her heart pound. She gently shook her head at him.

"You go in. I'll be there in a minute."

"Beth…"

"I know, I promise. I will be there in a minute."

Jack looked at Will, pained and then back at Beth. He must have seen the resolution in her face and with a sigh nodded, collected his pint and walked back towards the pub door.

Beth watched him go through the door and turned back to Will.

"Just what did we do to you?" She asked him, gently this time.

"You left."

Beth nodded, "Yes. And you were happy for us."

"I was."

"So…"

"You never said you were leaving for good. I didn't think that within a few months you would be wanting to sell your share of the practice. And yet when I thought about it I realised what an idiot I had been. I had asked you - 'You sound as if you are never coming back.' And what did you say, 'Of course we are…' But your tone. I should have known. You had made the decision."

"No we hadn't Will. We didn't know."

"Oh come on Beth. You didn't want to come back and you knew it and you didn't tell me. You allowed me think it was just a sabbatical."

Beth was confused, "We hadn't decided not to come back Will. I swear. After we lost…after the miscarriage I just wanted to get away from Cardale. I didn't know if I would fall in love with Africa. I didn't know if that was what I wanted for my future. For our future."

"There was no warning Beth. Just the phone call, where you were so excited about the new clinic, how you wanted to sell up and how bloody wonderful your life was."

"I thought you would be happy for us."

"Happy? Do you know what mess you left me in?"

"Mess? Andrew and Erica took up the partnerships?"

"Eventually. Not before nearly a year of facing financial ruin. Of nearly losing the practice. Do you remember the last time I faced financial ruin. Where it had led me? And there I was heading back there so fast I was barely hanging on by my fingernails but this time it wasn't my own reckless financial behaviour or a wife who could outspend most millionaires, it was caused by my two best friends who left me without a backward glance! I was let down by those closest to me. Who didn't give a toss about me or the mess they left behind."

"I had no idea..." Beth swallowed. Trying to remember how it had happened. they had thought Will would have been happy for them. They were so devastated after the miscarriage but the prospect of Africa gave them something to be hopeful for. Will had seemed so pleased that they had put so much faith in him to keep the practice going. When they spoke to him Andrew and Erica appeared to be doing well. She couldn't understand…

"You never told us," she said, more firmly and Will swung his head to look at her. "You never told us you were struggling and knowing how bloody stubborn you are, you wouldn't have wanted to. We thought everything was fine. If it wasn't we would have come back. You know that."

"You never asked."

"Yes we did Will."

"I didn't want you to think I was a complete imbecile ok? I thought if I could just keep it going until you came back everything would be fine."

"You cant blame us for not being bloody mind readers Will!"

Will looked down, the anger seemingly left him.

"I resented you. And your happiness. Okay. I'm not proud of it. And then things got better and then Kate and then…Emily. And when that happened I thought, if Jack and Beth hadn't left this wouldn't have happened. And when she died…and then I found out that your son had been ill too but survived…I admit…I resented that too."

"You would have preferred that he had died?" Beth asked in shock.

"Of course not. But it just felt…so unfair…" Will's voice trailed away and Beth didn't know whether to be angry or disappointed in how little respect he seemed to have for her and for her family.

"And so every time anything bad happened in your life…you blamed me and Jack."

"In a way. I suppose if you hadn't have left, Claire would have never come to Cardale."

Beth sat back in disbelief.

"I know it sounds ridiculous."

"Ridiculous? I was thinking more offensive. Good God Will. How could you hate us so much?!"

"It was easy to feel resentment when you weren't here. And if I couldn't blame you, who could I blame."

"How about yourself?"

"Well, yes. That came eventually."

Beth blinked, not expecting that admission. "So..?"

"So, by then it had been so long. I didn't know how to pick up the phone. Chloe had told me Matty was fine that you were living in Wales. You never tried to get in touch, so I thought the feelings of resentment must go both ways."

Beth was confused, "But we did get in touch, after what that woman did, I even rang your ex wife!"

Will nodded, "I know. She didn't catch me at a good time. We weren't sure Alex was going to make it and there was Sarah badgering me about seeing the boys and you and Jack. I told her to leave me alone and to tell you to leave me alone."

"Which we did."

"Which you did."

Beth stood. Mainly out of exasperation and also out of cold, she suddenly felt very old and very tired.

"I don't know how to process this."

Will stood too, "I'm sorry Beth. I was in a bad way and I acted foolishly and I am sorry that I hurt you."

Beth nodded, "I can understand that. And I appreciate the apology."

"But?"

Beth smiled at him, although it was without humour, "It's hard thing to reconcile. That you had so little respect for us. After everything."

Will nodded, his face filling with shame, "I am sorry about Matty. When Julian told me…I'm sorry Beth. It must have been hell."

Beth's eyes filled with tears, "It was. It was hell. He went downhill so quickly. We rushed him to London and he went to the top of the transfer list. It was touch and go for a while."

Will came round to her side of the table and reached out to rub her arm, "They are so helpless at that age aren't they?"

Beth brought her hands up to her face but she couldn't hold in the sob and the next thing she knew she was in Will's arms and he was cradling her as she cried in a way she hadn't for years.

He whispered sorry in to her hair over and over again until Beth regained some control and pulled back and looked up at the man that was once one of her best friends.

"It's cold. I'm going to go back in before Jack comes back out here."

Will nodded.

"I don't know how I feel about everything you have just told me. But I am sorry if anything we ever did hurt you Will. It was the last thing either of us would have ever wanted to do."

She turned around and went back through the pub door, the warmth from the pub shocking her body and making her shiver suddenly. Jack was there in an instant, obviously standing guard by the door.

"You okay love?"

"Yeah."

"Sure?"

"Not really."

"Okay. Do you want to talk or…"

"Not yet. Let's go back to our friends, enjoy the time with them. We can talk later."

Jack nodded and she felt so grateful that he trusted her to know her own mind and feelings. Trusted her to know what was best even though it would have been hard not to notice that she had been crying or how just upsetting the conversation with Will had been. They had come a long way in the last twenty-five years. She put her hand in his and smiled up at him and he kissed her gently in return.

"Come on. Chloe just got another bottle of wine."

"I love that woman."

They had had a lovely time with their friends. Beth hadn't seen Will after their conversation in the garden, she suspected he had gone home although she had seen Kate and Julian so thought that perhaps he had just settled himself in a different part of the pub with Tom and Alex.

She had been the last to go to bed, Jack had surprisingly gone up before her around midnight while she stayed gossiping with Laura and Chloe. Finally Laura had gone and Chloe had finally asked her what happened with Will. She filled her in on most of it and left Chloe gaping like a fish.

"I think he must have lost his mind again."

"Chloe."

"Seriously! Who acts like that? Who thinks like that?!"

"We did abandon him."

"He wasn't a child. He was a senior partner in a medical practice. If he struggled he should have said something. He had no one to blame but himself."

"I know. It's all so…"

"Childish?"

"Sad actually. It's all so sad. We could have all been there for each other."

Chloe reached out to rub her hand, "I know."

Beth took a deep breath and smiled at her friend, "I better go up. Two late nights in a row. I wont be able to function tomorrow."

"Okay love," Chloe kissed her goodnight and followed her up the stairs. As they went to part Beth reached out for her hand.

"I wouldn't have gotten through Matty's illness without you Chloe. I hope you know how incredibly grateful I am."

"You would do the same for me. You did do the same for me. I'm always here and I always will be," Chloe said as she hugged her tight and then left to go into her room. Beth turned and stared at her own door. She wasn't sure how to tell Jack everything. She wasn't sure how he would take it and she felt emotionally exhausted.

The door opened and there was her husband, smiling with his hand outstretched.

"Come on drunkard. Bed time. We can talk in the morning," Jack said as Beth grabbed his hand gratefully and pulled him towards the bed.

She looked up at him and he smiled down at her in return. He always looked a few decades younger when he smiled. The same mischievous smile, full of life and love and all for her. She knew how lucky they had been, but it had also been work. Two headstrong people, it would on many occasions have been easier to walk away. But somewhere between meeting him for the first time on that windy moor, the dead body of a young child between them and another wintery moor a year later with the spectre of another young life cut short between them, he had come to be her entire world. Had stole right in to her very soul and made her more vulnerable and more happy than she had ever thought possible. She really didn't work without him anymore. The strong independent woman was no longer independent and it had taken her some time to make her peace with that.

She wrapped herself around him, inhaling his scent and treasuring the feel of his strong arms around her. He was infuriating, kind, stubborn and generous and loved her with a passion that still took her breath away.

"Make love to me Jack."

Jack stared at her, his blue eyes piercing in to her soul before he grinned at her, "Thought you would never ask."

They took their time the next morning, Rita had promised that breakfast would be a bit later to ensure everyone had the chance to have a bit of a lay in. Jack had Beth had lazed in bed and she told him all about her conversation with Will. Like her he had gone from anger to sadness as he had heard Will's explanation for his behaviour.

"Will you talk to him?" Beth asked and Jack had nodded.

"I will. I don't want to leave here with anything unsaid. Then we can all move on."

Beth hugged him to her and as Jack sighed she looked up at him, questioning. Jack shrugged in reply, "I didn't like him when I first started. Thought he was a pompous, posh prick."

"I remember. It was him that convinced me to offer you a job though."

Jack looked at her surprised, "Really?"

Beth couldn't believe he didn't know that, "Him and Isabel of course, although I think her reasoning was slightly different. She knew straight away that I fancied you."

"Can't blame you!" Jack said laughing and Beth swatted him in return.

"But he was so against you giving me the partnership," Jack recalled.

"Oh that was only because Sarah had got in his head and he was suspicious about you and me. Thought he was being pushed out by my new lover."

Jack look puzzled, "We weren't lovers then."

Beth rolled her eyes, "We may not have slept together then Jack but we had kissed I seem to remember."

"Oh yes…the awkward dinner where we couldn't find anything to talk about if we weren't talking about work."

"And then when we did talk we found out how different we were."

"Except for alcohol. We were very similar when it came to alcohol."

"We were indeed. I think alcohol has been the bedrock of our marriage."

Jack looked thoughtful, remembering, "You seduced me."

"I bloody well did not!"

"You kissed me!"

"I think we kissed each other and then you ran away like a scared rabbit."

"I was trying to be a gentleman and not use sex to get me a partnership."

"Well you did get the partnership before the sex."

"True. We took a rocky path before the sex."

Beth chuckled remembering, "Rhianne."

Jack had the good sense to look embarrassed, "Yes...well. That was a mistake. And over very quickly in my defence. I'll never forget that look on your face. It haunted me."

"Isabel despaired of me during that time."

"I remember. She told me it was a shame that my love life was such a mess."

"Really? I asked her once to tell me that I right not to get involved with you. She told me that the problem was that I was involved with you. I just wasn't sleeping with you and that Rhianne was getting all the benefit…"

"She was a nosy old sod wasn't she."

"I tried to convince her once that you weren't right for me, that life was too complicated. She thought life was too short. That's when I ended up at your house, cooking you a microwave meal."

"You did kiss me then."

"I did. I also went home like a good girl after dinner."

"But you met me the next day. At the football."

"And then our lives changed."

"That was some night."

"Afternoon actually."

"And then night," Jack blinked. "The day after that was when we found out about Will's fraud wasn't it?"

"Oh God. Yes it was. I had forgotten it was then."

"You were so angry with him."

"I didn't understand how he could do it. Be so dishonest."

"He was in a dark place Beth. Neither of us realised that at the time."

"Do you think it's true then? What he said yesterday. That us leaving him and the financial problems he suffered as a result, that we caused him to relapse into depression."

"Maybe. Maybe he didn't relapse but he was scared of doing so. It took him a long time to get himself sorted after that first time. And for all his bluster he never had as much faith in himself as we had in him. We were his crutch and when we left…"

"He didn't have that anymore."

"I don't agree with how he's treated us but I can understand it."

"You always were much more understanding of him than me."

"I knew frailty I think. You were too bloody perfect half the time," Jack chuckled to soften his words but Beth knew he had a point. It had taken her some time not to resent Will for his actions and to understand his depression, and she was a doctor.

Half an hour later, Will was still on her mind as she made her way down the stairs to meet Chloe, James and Rita for breakfast. She was therefore surprised to see the object of her reverie sitting at her table, his wife next to him chatting away to Chloe.

He had the decency to look embarrassed and awkward. 'Good', Beth had thought. 'Serves him right.' A look at Jack saw his surprise too but Jack being Jack made his way over to the table, full of confidence and introduced himself to Kate. Beth chuckled. Superman indeed.

Will gave her a small smile, "Morning."

She returned it, curiosity getting the better of her. "Surprised to see you here so early after such a late night."

Will looked sheepish, "It wasn't so late for me." So he had gone home, Beth realised.

He stood to greet Jack and hold out his hand. Jack took it with a tight smile, before turning back to Kate. His charm at full power and Beth was amused to see a slight affectionate exasperation fall over Will's face.

"He doesn't change does he?" Will said to her.

"No. Same old Jack," Beth said with a smile and Will held her gaze, suddenly serious.

"He's the best thing that could have ever happened to you," Will said meaningfully and Beth nodded as he looked at her husband.

"He really is."

Will nodded in return and appeared to be steeling himself, he interrupted his wife and his former friend with some reluctance, "Jack. I was just asking James if you and he wanted to come with me to the football. I'm the first aider."

Beth looked at Jack, holding her breath. Jack normally couldn't turn anything to do with football down and knew James was the same.

Jack flicked his eye at her and she raised an eyebrow in response. The request had come out of the blue but it felt like an olive branch.

"Aye. Why not. Be like old times. Shame I didn't bring my boots, I could have been a sub!" Jack joked and everyone laughed. He grabbed a piece of toast and five minutes later then men were out the door leaving Chloe, Beth and Kate looking after them. Some more surprised than others.

They looked at Kate for an explanation, "He said that he and Jack always bonded over football. That it was a good excuse as any."

"I remember my Frances and Danny leading them both astray one day watching a match. All four of them legless..." Beth smiled and reached for Rita's hand.

"I'm not sure if it wasn't my Jack doing the leading." Beth told her and Rita sniffed a laugh.

"I hope James isn't going to get in the way." Chloe asked worriedly.

Kate smiled, "I think he has apologies to make to you and James too. He didn't try as hard as he should to keep in touch once we moved away."

"Well then," said Chloe, "Knowing them and if things go well, we probably wont be seeing them until much later. Kim and Laura said they'd meet us at the cafe in an hour. Tea, cake and maybe a stroll around the Derbyshire Dales before we have to pick up drunken football hooligans?"

"Perfect. Kate, why don't you join us?" Beth said.

Kate beamed, "I'd love to."


End file.
